Sunday, July 17, 2005Let there be [insert wish here]
It is the year of our Lord 2005. In accordance with the King (Rick) James (Bitch) edition of the Holy Bible I am going to baptise this blog, for this blog is newborn and this day is Sunday. The process by which one breaks into Blogger headquarters to pour a bowl of holy water over their server is difficult. The consequences of getting caught are severe. But needless to say, it is much better to break the law of a godless secular state than the misinterpreted commandments of a misguided translator. After all, I wouldn't want this poor innocent blog to go to hell for being born.
It is difficult to see why anyone would be ignorant of God anymore. Today on my trip to Borders I saw the Holy Bible in many colors - pink, light green, metallic blue. There were many titles, such as "Extreme Teen Bible [BOX SET]", and "TNIV True Identity: The Bible for Women (Today's New International Version)". And the wisdom of God permeated the all pages. For example, the "Teen Devotional Bible" contained these paraphrased words of wisdom:
Take a balloon and inflate it.
Squeeze it until it pops.
Imagine yourself to be the balloon.
What is squeezing you?
What is going to make you pop?
Let God help you.
It is quite confusing to me why anyone would choose not to believe in God--to believe in suicide, essentially. For, in throwing away eternal life one is committing suicide (http://www.christianforums.com/t154838-why-do-atheists-want-to-die.html). Now, with religion so hip, everyone should believe in God and be as happy as a priest in a Catholic, boys-only, preschool.
Posted by Michael Gao
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